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Everyone deserves to be safe

Resources

Identify Abuse

Family Violence is when one family or household member physically harms or emotionally abuses another family or household member. Family members, such as children who witness family violence, are also considered victims.

Domestic violence (also referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV), dating abuse, or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. These behaviors consist of emotional, physical and psychological abuse.

Adults and Children of all genders can be victims. Family violence and Domestic Violence can take different forms such as:

  • Physical abuse and neglect: hitting, pushing, biting, using a weapon or object to cause harm, refusing access to basic necessities.
  • Sexual assault: rape, any unwanted sexual contact, forcing sexual interactions, sexual assault with an object, coercing/begging/pressuring/forcing you into sexual acts or intercourse, giving you drugs or alcohol to “loosen up” your inhibitions, implying that you “owe” them in exchange for gifts, support, or previous consent.
  • Emotional, psychological, or spiritual abuse: threats of harm, intimidation, isolation, manipulation, humiliation, gaslighting, threats of suicide or homicide, using religion as coercion, guilt, refusing to acknowledge you or blaming you.
  • Verbal abuse: name calling, criticizing, mocking, screaming/yelling, degrading comments.
  • Economic/financial abuse: controlling a person’s money without their permission, forcing a person to use or open credit cards, not allowing someone access to money or to be aware of the finances, preventing someone from obtaining employment or sabotaging current employment.
  • Stalking: following someone or showing up uninvited to their home, work, sending unwanted communications or gifts, repeatedly driving by someone’s home, work or other places, using technology or social media to locate someone.
  • Technology-facilitated abuse: Telling you who you can and cannot “friend” or “follow”, tracking you through your Social Media posts, using any kind of technology to track you, such as GPS or Spyware in your car or phone, humiliating, embarrassing and threatening you in their online posts, messages or emails, stealing passwords, searching through your phone records, messages, phone calls and photos.

The Power and Control Wheel created by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in Duluth, MN demonstrates the abusive tactics use to maintain control in a relationship.

Copyright by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
202 East Superior Street, Duluth, MN, 55802
218-722-2781

Safety Planning

Creating a safety plan can be a helpful tool to reduce the risk of harm during an abusive relationship, when planning to leave and after. Below are a few helpful tips:

Ways to stay safer in an abusive relationship:

In an emergency, call or text 9-1-1.

  • Identify areas of risk in your home (rooms with no exit, rooms with only one exit, rooms with weapons).
  • Identify safe areas in your home. If an argument occurs, try to move to the identified safe area.
  • If incidents of abuse occur, try to protect your head as much as possible.
  • Connect with a local domestic violence program and/or legal resources to help prepare for when you’re ready to leave.
 

When you’re ready to leave:

  • Let someone you trust know that you’re preparing to leave.
  • Turn off GPS, and location settings on all devices.
  • Change passwords to emails, banking information, social media and other platforms that may be accessible.
  • If you have children, communicate with the school’s counselor and social workers to establish a safety plan.
  • Know your resources and rights. Legal resources are available.
  • Seek support- leaving an abusive relationship can be the most dangerous time and sometimes feel impossible. We are here to support you.
 

How to stay safe when reaching out for support

If you need options for safe ways to communicate for support, consider:

  • Discuss a safety plan with trusted friends and family.
  • Create a safe or code word/phrase that will let them know that you need help.
  • If possible, find a safe space to hide a back-up or emergency phone. Many agencies such as Sarah’s House can often assist with 9-1-1 only devices that can be used in an emergency.
  • Use community organizations like a local library to search for resources and contact support.

If you’d like support creating a personalized plan of safety, contact our 24-HR Crisis Hotline and speak to an Advocate about a personalized plan.

Items to think about taking or keeping with a trusted person or safe location:

  • Cell phone/tablets
  • ID /DL
  •  Birth certificates for you and your children
  • Social Security cards
  • School records
  • Medical records
  • Car title/registration
  • Credit/debit cards
  • Lease/rental agreement or deeds
  • Work permits
  • Passport
  • Insurance papers
  • Jewelry
  • Medications
  • Financial documents
  • Sentimental items

In an emergency, prioritize safely getting out. Many items can be replaced.

Know the risks

Survivors can utilize this online assessment to learn what their individual risk is of abuse becoming fatal:

https://www.dangerassessment.org/da.aspx

If you’ve completed this assessment and you’d like support on further steps towards safety, please contact our 24-HR Crisis Hotline.

We know that taking the next steps can be overwhelming and feel uncertain. We are here to help.